There’s More Than One Way to Skin a Cat: A Kristull Chronicle

In the Fall, the ranch is a little bee hive of activity. Chores that were impossible during the 100 degree summer are now a delight to tackle. Winter Rye needs planting. Gates are leveled. Grass is mowed. Repairs to everything make the air hum with the sound of Gators, Tractors, Lawn Mowers.

I love the work. Much of the routine grounds work is done by “the girls’. A horse farm is usually 90% “girls”. In fact, there’s enough estrogen and progesterone on the ranch to be a danger to any man who spends a lot of time there. We can lift and haul with the best of them. And “quit” is not in the vocabulary. So, move over cowboys.

But this week, we are taking care of a problem created by estrogen and progesterone. I have had a first cycle of chemo for early stage breast cancer. What a mess it made of my training schedule all last Spring and now, during the most wonderful season of the year.

I’ve become a head case,
My fur it is thinning,
Thanks to the chemo,
I am a cat that needs skinning.

And my friends all pitched in yesterday to do me the honor. Thanks to all of the estrogen (and a little testosterone too), it was a happy party that made light of both vanity and fear. Join the festivities for a couple of minutes.

Breast Cancer Chemo

This head mare’s no pansy,
My prognosis is stellar.
This won’t be what kills me,
I’ll get weller and weller.

Round one had surprises,
Pounding innards and stomach,
Nervous from Steroids,
And 5 days of bad yuck.

I’ve become a head case,
My fur it is thinning,
Thanks to the chemo,
I am a cat that needs skinning.

Holidays are coming.
I’ve a cold head and cold nose,
Now acne is one of those,
Unspoken woes.

My Halloween Potion,
was specially brewed.
My guts are in motion,
and my tongue has been stewed.

I can’t taste a thing.
In fact food is too bad,
Thrush in my mouth,
Ruined everything I had.

Found I’m NOT Wonder Woman,
In fact, I’m no hero,
Round two was no picnic,
Chemo two, Jackie zero.

The process continues,
Round Three is coming.
But chemo’s the reason,
For digital numbing.

Will my fingers burn off?
The Doctor’s too iffy,
He can’t make a promise,
Maybe now, it’s too risky.

More drugs to the rescue!
Isn’t that the refrain?
10 days to next treatment,
and it’s fogging my brain.

The Treatment’s all bite,
With no Bark at all,
The risk is too great?
The reward is too small?

Natural, Big Pharma,
Broccoli, Kale have the talent,
They’ll make mutant cells wish,
That they’d died if they haven’t.

Pansy’s bloom in the Autumn,
They’re both hardy and strong,
So, say what you will,
This flower’s not wrong.

My decision is final,
No more Chemo’s still winning,
Gone – the Cat who needs shaving,
Now a Cheshire cat grinning!

The End

I don’t yet have a cowboy hat that fits my smaller head, so, today bald is beautiful.

* There’s supposed to be a silver lining to everything. I hope I’ve earned the right to a head full of silvery curls.

7 thoughts on “There’s More Than One Way to Skin a Cat: A Kristull Chronicle

  1. Your family has been worried sick to see you down that poison ick
    We love your liver, kidneys, skin
    for cleansing out that nasty gin.
    We love your scalp your knees your spine, your smiley face, your brain divine
    We also love your fingers, toes, they help you hold on to Jim’s hoes
    They train the colts and bop the dolts
    They cut the glass and earn the cash
    We love your fingers and your toes and def don’t want them to get froze
    So good by nasty killing swill
    Jackie’s got this, she’ll be great
    Thanksgiving gave, we celebrate!!!

  2. Hey that was a great show!! Did you save some in a baggy? You Look FABULOUS!! You will be out playing at the ranch soon!! Love you Jackie
    Judy & Dave

    1. I did not save any. Chuck threw it away unceremoniously before the birds even had a chance to use my silky locks to line their winter sleeping quarters.

  3. This was totally pay back. Jackie was there to use the dog clippers on my lumpy head six years ago, as I was thrown out of hospice and finally had enough health to try to survive chemo. Jackie did not laugh at me, well she might have, but I was too traumatized, so it did not sink in. I think that she looks great and has the attitude to slog through anything!

    1. Francie’s head was equally attractive. In case anyone would like to adopt this easy-to-manage style, it was done with a #7FC blade backward.

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